Glad you asked. I was every woman at one point in time, navigating through life aimlessly, shooting darts and never hitting the target. Searching for the reason behind my existence. Trying to comprehend the gruesome suffering and injustice we experience daily. I’ve learned that we, human beings, are all intertwined, linked in our human experiences. Yet some still feel the way Kane felt about Abel «Am I my brothers keeper» YES, you are!!! In so many ways! I’ve always been an extremely empathetic and sympathetic person which has shaped the dynamics of my existence and shaken me to my core. Witnessing numerous deaths and suffering of others brought me to my knees literally, crying out for help. Taking on their suffering and losing myself in the process. Aahh…. process, that moment started my process and ended my life as I once knew.
Let me explain. My last year of pharmacy school consisted of rotating from different pharmacy sites, shadowing pharmacists in different aspects of the field . My first rotation was in the oncology/hematology department at oscher hospital.
This year began as any other year, with the exception of EXTREME excitement anticipating graduating. Little did I know, this experience would change my life FOREVER!! Keeping a long story short, I literally lived my patients illness right along with them, literally. We all know what cancer patients endure while fighting for their lives, however seeing them suffer day after day, stuggling to survive, clasping fear in one hand and faith in the other ……..it grieved my heart anquishly. I became depressed, I couldn’t hold any food down, and I struggled to hold on to the value of life. I went through this for a period of 6 or more months. Right at that moment the lightbulb went off in my head and I had,what Oprah calls, an aha moment.
All of my childhood memories came flooding back, and I suddenly realized this special gift that I have had all along; the gift of empathizing, with extreme compassion, and a dire thirst to help make life easier for any one that came in my path needing hope. It all started to make sense. I was put here to make a difference based on what God had placed inside of me. From that day forward I made a conscience decision to live my life as Christ lived his, and that is with purpose, passion, and prayer.
Life didn’t make sense to me as a little girl. I struggled daily with the question “why do we live only to die?” It haunted me. I forgot about the torment I lived with as a child UNTIL I was brought face to face with these patients as they struggled to stay alive. Coincidence…No…….hapenstance…….No………..destiny…YES. After losing my life as I put myself into the shoes of the patient, after losing my passion for life, after questioning why do we live, only to die, I found my purpose in life.
This brings me back to my introduction. «Who am I?» I am passionate, compassionate, royal, talented, awkward, goofy, full of life, animated, loving, honest, forgiving, Christlike, I am woman. I am Fearful at times yet fearless at others. I have made it my lifes mission to encourage, uplift, and inspire others. To give myself, time, and money to impact someone else’s life. I don’t have to broadcast and showcase some of the things I’ve done. It does my heart proud to lay down knowing that I put a smile on someone’s face. I have sooo many great things that I am working on…..stay tuned. The purpose of this blog site is to make you laugh, cry, and think. What are you doing for others? What are you doing with God’s time? What will others say about you when you leave this earth? Hopefully not just “they sure could dress, they had the biggest and nicest car/ house. But, hopefully someone will say they made this world a better place one person at a time and the world is a better place because they lived. If you wake up every morning with only “you” on your mind, I pray that you re-evaluate your reason for being alive.
What I know for sure is that I am no longer every woman. I am unique, intentional, and dangerous. A woman who knows her purpose is a dangerous force to be reckon. I dare you to learn that you are not like anyone else in this WORLD and repeat this statement with me…………….I am not every woman, I am ME!!!!!